The circle of life

The other day Monkey and Bug were eating lunch, I was unloading the dishwasher with my back turned to the boys, the TV was on in the other room.  The boys were being fairly well behaved, eating their PB&J sandwiches and strawberries and milk.  

Did I mention the TV was on?

Monkey was watching Planet Earth earlier and apparently it either wasn't over yet or he started a new episode.  He kept leaving the table to go watch the show.  I wasn't too concerned, the sound wasn't even on, he was just watching the animals run around and in this episode, it was all sunshine and roses.

So there I was, with my back to them, emptying the dishwasher (did I mention I was also on the phone), and Monkey comes running up to me in hysterics.  He is absolutely sobbing and I must admit, he's been in this crying phase lately so I wasn't too concerned and was about to tell him to go finish his lunch.  He was attempting to tell me something though and he really was upset and not just the kind of upset he gets when he thinks he can get his sister or brother in trouble.

Me:  "What's wrong?"  (This is said sincerely by the way).
Monkey:  "He ate the apple!"
Me:  "What?  He ate the apple?  Ian?  You didn't have an apple.  You mean the strawberries?"  I double check his plate to see if I somehow forgot that I gave the boys apples.  Nope, and their strawberries were long gone.
Monkey:  Still in hysterics, "NO!  They ate all the apples!"
Me:  "What?  Monkey, you need to calm down a bit so you can tell me."

Incapable of calming down I am still not able to understand this apple predicament.  Every once in a while, I still have problems with Monkey's speech, especially if he's upset or if he comes up to me with a random statement or question.  This was apparently one of those times.  I ask if he can explain it differently or use different words.  This calms him down enough for him to announce, "They ate all the animals!"

Oh.  No.  Did I mention he was watching Planet Earth?  Just to be clear, "They ate all the animals?"

Monkey:  He starts sobbing again, "All the animal are eating each other!"

I had visions of animal carnage with dozens of animals randomly eating each other.  I was pretty sure it was a zebra or a seal but at that point it was over.  "I don't ever want to watch that show ever, ever again.  I HATE it!  It's awful!"

We cuddle on the couch while I try to explain to him why things happen as they do without freaking him out and making him a vegetarian.

Fast forward to later that afternoon.  Sunshine says she wants to watch something.  Monkey has the remote and asks what a particular item is reading.  I tell him it's Planet Earth (the irony).  Sunshine asks what that is and Monkey tells her it's about animals and they should watch it.  Sunshine seems gung ho about it and then he announces that animals each other.

Horrified, Sunshine is on the verge of tears and says she doesn't want to watch it.  She questions me if it's true and if we really have to watch it.  I tell her yes it happens and no we aren't going to watch it.  

I then ask Monkey, "Why would you do ask her if she wants to watch it?"
Monkey:  "Because I want to watch it."
Me: "You said you never wanted to watch it again and that you didn't like it."
Monkey:  With a very smug look on his face, "Now I do like it."

*Sigh* and this is how my life goes.

Vicky

Aaawww.... young love

Sunshine has been best friends with this boy J, she has been playing with him since November.  She talked about him and his twin brother S during Thanksgiving and Christmas break.  They were invited to her birthday party and she to theirs.  The 3 of them play on the playground all the time, although it is mostly Sunshine and J who play together and S tags along.  Apparently chasing, poking, yanking and giggling is great fun.

A few weeks ago, they invited Sunshine to one of those bouncy places that happened to have one of those fight ring things where you can knock the other with one of those padded gladiator jousting sticks, which is just awesome.  And by awesome I mean stupid and a black eye waiting to happen.  So there they were, at this bouncy area, and Sunshine decides she wants to try these gladiator jousting sticks.  It's funny, she doesn't like to rough house at home, but with J, she is all about it.  Well apparently she was in this ring area and a not very nice boy "the-boy-with-the-red-shirt" kept taking her stick from her.  J and his twin brother S, continued to get in front of their friend and keep her safe and allow her to play with these jousting sticks.  The act made the mom of 4 boys proud and this mom feel better about having her daughter hang out with the 2 boys who were willing to protect her.

Two weeks later, Sunshine wanted to invite the boys somewhere for a playdate so we decided a different jumpy place.  This one didn't have the crazy jousting area and I knew it would be good for both Sunshine and Bug since Bug and Monkey would be joining us.  Well, Sunshine decides that this is not a playdate, it's just a date and she and J would be kissing in the bouncy house.  Uuhhh, excuse me?  She blushes a color I have never seen on her before and giggles.  "What did you say?"  In this high pitched, squeaky voice, she says, "We're going to kiss in the bouncy house." (hehehe-giggle giggle giggle).

We had a discussion about this and I'm sure she didn't listen since "all the other girls in school have been kissed" (when I asked who, she was able to name one girl and the one boy who kissed her on the cheek - whew).

Later in a different discussion she says that J is her best friend and yes she loves him.  She announces she is going to marry him.  She also said she wondered if J was allergic to cats or dogs because they don't have a dog or cat.  The names of their kids will be Liam and Rosie.

I asked her when she was planning on getting married and she said "not until I'm a grown up.  Like when I'm 16."  Haha, maybe a few years later.  She has written in her journal, "I love J", "Sunshine and J" with a picture of 2 people holding hands with giant eyes staring at each other with a heart between them, and "I have a boyfriend, his name is J."

I suppose I'd better start working on their wedding present!

Vicky

Deadly bouquets that live in your own front yard!

The other day, Sunshine, Monkey and the 2 little girls (N &M and their mom K)2 doors down, were outside playing.  At one point Monkey runs in saying, "Mommy!  I have a flower for you!"  I instantly think of my tulips that had just the beginnings of buds, picturing them being yanked from their stems.  "What flower?"  He comes into the room holding a dandelion and proudly announces, "It's a dandelion!  I picked it because I know they're your favorite."  Aaawww, how sweet, how could I think anything but?

Fifteen minutes later Sunshine comes in and announces, "Mommy, I have some bad news about Bug."

Bug was right in front of me so I wasn't too concerned.  "What's the bad news?"

"K says that dandelions are poisonous and we shouldn't touch them."

"You must have misunderstood her.  Dandelions are not poisonous.  People eat dandelions, they're not poisonous."

"K said they are.  She said don't touch them, they're poisonous."

"Well maybe they put fertilizer or some kind of chemicals on their lawn and now there poisons on the lawn and dandelions.  But dandelions aren't poisonous."

"I'll go tell her you said she was wrong."

And off she went before I could tell her to rephrase what she was about to blurt out.

A half hour later and it's time to come in for dinner.  We're about to sit down and Sunshine says to me, "Mommy, you were right.  K said they put stuff on their yard and we shouldn't pick their dandelions."

Monkey (who listens a lot more than he lets on) pipes in all happy to be part of the discussion, "I can touch the dandelions."

To which Sunshine responds, "Monkey, no you can't touch them!  K says they're poisonous and you could get sick!"

Monkey, quite confused now, "I touched them.  I'm not sick."

Sunshine grabs ahold of Monkey's wrist and starts dragging him.  She is frantically yelling, "Monkey, come on!  You have to go to wash your hands!"

Monkey calmly replies, "No, I don't."

Still frantic, she screams, "Monkey, if you don't wash your hands YOU COULD GET SICK AND DIE!"

Rather than freaking out at the concept of dying, he tells her he already picked a dandelion for me and yes he already gave it to me.

Poor Sunshine, she is practically in tears, "Mommy,  you have to throw that dandelion away!  Don't touch it though!  What if Bug or Lily ate it?!  I don't want any of you to die!"

What was discovered/learned from this event:
Don't touch other people's dandelions, trespassing won't be an issue for quite a while.
Yes, she really does love her brother.
I may have lost my 2 dandelion pickers for the summer.

Vicky

Washing up

I found this in my drafts of posts to be finished.  I'm not sure what else there was to it, but it is Monkey true and true.  I love that this is really how he spoke.  His speech has gotten so much better, he has dropped what some may call baby talk, he's 4 1/2 at the time, about 6 months shy of officially ending speech.  It's like watching videos of your babies and hearing their little voices.

Written on 6/5/12

I was kissing Monkey's hand and flipped it over to kiss the palm of it and sniffed.  It smelled kind of... icky.  Kind of... I don't know, just, icky.  So I told him,

Me:  "Your hands smell kind of stinky.  You need to go wash them."

Monkey:  Takes a deep sniff of his hand, "Dey, don't mell dinky to me."

Me:  "Maybe you should go wash them."

Monkey:  In a very calm voice, "Nooo, dat's ok.  Dey don't need to be washed."

Vicky

Is it a lie or a very detailed story?

Monkey has a wild imagination and has always been willing to tell you stories in extreme detail.  He has always been able to tell you some wild story and 2 hours later tell someone else the same story with the same details.  He never seems to forget how the story went the first time and if you ask him the same question each time, he'll have the same answer.

Some day Monkey will be a teenager and this skill has me very concerned.

This is Monkey's story:

I was taking a shower, Bug was napping, and Monkey and Sunshine were watching TV.  I took a fast shower because all sorts of things can happen when you're in the shower.

I got out of the shower and heard Bug awake, the older 2 were in there keeping him company.  I can only assume that me walking around or the shower itself woke him up.  Either way, he was awake and his siblings were keeping him happy.  What a great brother and sister!

Then I heard squeals and screeches of laughter, thuds on the floor, the bouncing/squeaking of Bug's bed, and the clunk of the gliding chair banging against the wall.  This is obviously not good so I dress as quickly as possible and go in there to assess the damage.

Sure enough, it's not pretty.

Every single book and stuffed animal from his shelf is strewn across the floor.  There are no blankets, toys or pillows in Bug's bed and he's standing there in his crib wearing only his diaper and Sunshine is flinging herself back and forth on the chair making little dents on the wall.

"What's going on in here?!  Who threw these books and toys all over the floor?"

Sunshine sees me and immediately stops rocking and quickly blurts out, "It wasn't me!  Monkey did it!"

I look at Monkey, not completely believing Sunshine.  I'm pretty sure she's had something to do with it as well, but then I get this;

"Bug did it."

"Bug did it?"  Now, please remember, Bug is still in his crib (naked save his diaper).

"Yes, Bug did it."

"So after he climbed out of his bed, he crawled back in?  How did he do this?"

"WELL... He climbed up on the side of his crib and stood on this thingy (the bar for the side of the crib).  THEN, he jumped and grabbed hold of the fan (ceiling fan) and swung around the room and landed on this (a little bitty nightstand).  Then, he jumped onto the floor, walked over to the bookshelf and took everything off the shelf and threw it around the room.  THEN, he climbed back into his crib."

Now I ask you, is this an elaborate lie or a storyteller in the making?

He may look sweet and innocent sleeping there, too bad he wasn't sleeping.  He saw me with the camera and asked me to take his picture.  "Wait, wait, wait," he said.  He closes his eyes for the above, "Ok, now."

Vicky

What Animal Am I?

The kids love this game.  We've spent many of hours in the car playing this game.  Many hours.  Sometimes they do very original animals, other times we hear their favorite animals over and over again.  (It's very difficult to not guess cheetah when Monkey has said a yellow animal with spots when his favorite animal is a cheetah.)  Sometimes it's not as easy to guess.  Especially when animals change halfway through.

Sunshine:  I'm an animal that is gray.
Monkey and I begin guessing, they had been on a water animal trend so we started there:  "Fish, shark, monkey (not a water animal but it IS brown)"
Sunshine: "Monkey, I said brown, sharks are gray"
She gives us another clue.
Sunshine:  "They live in the water.  Well they sometimes live water.  Wait, they actually don't live in the water at all."
Very confused so we do more random guess: "Bear, monkey (you have to sometimes repeat things)."
Monkey: "Pups"
Sunshine:  "Puppies!  Puppies don't live in the water."
Monkey:  "NO!  Not puppies, PUPS.  You know those animals that are called pups."
I've realized what it is and wait a second to see if they figure it out.  They don't.  Or Sunshine is too stubborn to admit it.
Me:  "Do you mean seals or sea lions?"
Monkey:  "Yes!"
Sunshine:  "No, he said pups!"
Me:  "Baby sea lions and seals are called pups."  (Thank you PBS for this argument.)
Sunshine: "But that doesn't make sense!  Puppies are baby dogs!"
Me:  "Ok, well baby seals are also called pups.  Good job both of you.  It's my turn."

I choose my animal.  It was a bison.  Sunshine guessed it not by name but "that animal with the beard".  Close enough.

Then came Monkey's turn.  Monkey's are always... interesting.

Monkey:  "I am an amimal that's red and orange."
Me and Sunshine:  "Bird, fish, frog."
Monkey:  "No., and I live in the water."
Sunshine:  "Fish (remember what I said about repeating), octopus."
Monkey:  "I'm kind of big, but not super, super big, and I'm red and orange."
Sunshine:  "Are you a shark?"
Monkey:  "They're not red and orange!"  He says this with a 'duh' sound in his voice.
Sunshine:  "Maybe some are."
There is a long pause and I know...
Monkey:  "Yes.  It's a shark."
Sunshine:  "Monkey!  You said it wasn't a shark!"
Monkey:  "OOOHHH!!!  I didn't know you meant an orange and red  shark!"

And this is how he manages to make his turns last 3 times longer than everyone else's.  I sometimes don't think he always knows what he's going to say until something sounds good.

Vicky

Meet My Monkey

Monkey is a slow-poke.  Especially in the morning.  My mom says it's payback for all the times I was the last to be ready to go somewhere (I think she's exaggerating a bit) but regardless, Monkey IS the one I'm always telling to hurry up.  Always.  I suppose I need to get him moving 15 minutes before everyone else but I keep thinking there is no reason it will take him more than half an hour for him to put clothes on.

Yesterday was no exception either.  All that needed to happen was shoes, socks and coat on and finish his granola bar.  I decided that I'd help out and put the socks on him but left the shoes on the kitchen chair next to him.  I can't do everything, right?

And here is our conversation:
Me: "Come on Monkey, we need to get going."
Monkey: "I'm eating my granola bar."
Me: "Then stop playing with Bug, turn around and eat."
Monkey: "Ok."  He turns around, and continues to talk to Bug who has decided that it would be best to lean across the table so he could play with Monkey.  Monkey can't get in trouble if he's not turned around.  Or at least that seems to be the thought process the 2 of them had.  They continue to giggle and poke at each other.
Me: "Stop goofing around Monkey.  If you're done with the granola bar we can save it for later."  I often wonder if they force themselves to eat out of fear, worried they may not get this snack for weeks.
Monkey: "I'm still eating, Mommy."  

I make sure I have everything I'm going to need: Keys, wallet, coat on Bug and myself, shoes.  Everything is done.

Me: "Ok Monkey, it's time to be done."  He's been eating these granola bars (it's one of those crunchy granola bars with 2 in a package) for about 20 minutes.
Monkey: "Can I save these for later?"  He's only eaten half of each by the way
Me: *sigh* "Yes, I'll put them on the counter.  Let's put your shoes and coat on and get going."
Monkey: "I don't know where my socks are."
Me: "They're on your feet!"
Monkey: "Oooohhhh!  I didn't know that.  That's so funny.  I don't remember them being on my feet."  He is genuinely surprised almost amazed that he his socks have magically appeared on his feet.
Me: I don't know what to say to this, all I can think is - This is Monkey in a nutshell.

Vicky

A Carrot and a Pineapple

Sunshine loves telling stories.  I suppose most kids do, but she will tell a story the whole drive to my mom and dad's house, a good 30-40 minute drive.  Arguing will cease and Monkey will sit there quietly and listen to her.  She often follows a similar storyline, it usually has animals as the characters and they always have very unique names.  She takes great pains in her stories bu she doesn't seem to want to stop and think too long about the names of her characters.  Often they will rhyme with whatever odd 2 syllable word she spit out.

We're sitting in the car today (on the way to my parents' house) and she is telling a story to Monkey.  It begins, "Once upon a time there were five ducks (there are the animals) whose names were Sella, Bella and Pella. [pause here, Sella ended up turning into Stella and Pella ended up being Rosie, probably because of some books she's been reading - about 2 dogs, Bella and Rosie]."  So they continue doing whatever it was they were doing and the 3 ducks meet up with the other 2 ducks, "Carrot and Pineapple".

The 5 ducks decide to make a necklace and must decide what they should use.  Porcupine quills?  No, their mommy doesn't like porcupines.  Fish?  No, there aren't any fish in the pond.  The Mommy duck ends up getting a necklace made out of  wire.  Ouch.

She continues her story and it is indeed unique and entertaining.  So I ask her, is Carrot a boy or a girl?  She tells me a boy.  What about Pineapple?  Pineapple is also a boy.  Really? Boys?

I'm a little concerned about my future grandchildren.

Vicky

Woes of boys

Bug is turning 2.  As in 2 hours he'll be 2.  My little baby will be two and where has the time gone?

Oh, where has the time gone?  It's very close to his birthday party and we still need to get him something.  Sunshine and I had picked out a big book of Dr. Seuss books but for some reason I felt he needed something else (this way I will have one more thing to pick up/put away/wash).  It doesn't matter what logic was telling me, my heart was saying, "Buy, buy, buy!"  Either that or it was the huge influx of commercials and advertisements

So Sunshine and I are at the store and I decide to look for one more thing.  We head over to the toy department, which is small since the store only has it set up for Christmas.  I look and I look and I look.  Sunshine looks and she finds: toys that are too much money, toys that aren't age appropriate, or toys that we have something almost exactly like at home - sometimes it was all 3 of them.  I realize (again) that we still don't need anything.  Our home has way too many toys and our kids have way too much clothes.

Unfortunately, this doesn't mean that poor Bug shouldn't get presents since he is the youngest.  It just means that as a baby, he'll get gipped out of getting as many as his brother and sister.

There is one thing though that Bug could use.  Pajamas.  He's been having this obnoxious habit of pushing at the top of his pajama pants which then causes pee to squish out all over the place.  The only way we've been able to stop it is on him or by either putting one piece pajamas by putting onesies under the 2 piece pajamas.  He doesn't have too many one piece jammies and it's October and the house can get cold so I figured I'd buy him some footie jammies.  Sunshine and I looked at the racks and racks of clothes and she says to me, "Why aren't there as many boy pajamas as girls?"  A question all mothers of sons ask and I sadly had no answer for her.  Instead I told her, "Some people who make clothes like the flowers more than trucks."  She did not like the possibility of someone not thinking that every single bit of her Bug was perfect-and that included making his clothes.  She answers, "That's not very nice.  Bug's clothes are cute.  Remember, he has all those dinosaurs and things.  I don't think I like this store anymore.  I don't think we should shop here, let's go home."  She was serious too.  She wanted to go right then and there.

We left, without any pajamas or toy, and when she came back she gave Hubby an ear-full on how terrible the world is because boys don't have as large of a selection as girls.

Vicky

Cow, it's whats for dinner.

I've never understood how some foods we call by their animal name and some foods we call by their body parts.  We have eat ribs, but which animal?  We eat butt steak (although it's origin is not where one would expect it to be) but which animal?  Of course let's not forget the bacon, ribs, and pork chops.  My chicken legs are, well, chicken legs.  Fish is just some general term that includes the entire fish, sometimes including fish that aren't truly fish, for example, "I love fish, especially crab and lobster."

Apparently this lack of terminology also concerns my child.  Monkey has taken it upon himself to question what it is he is eating.

Monkey:  "Mommy, what is this?"
Me:  "It's steak."
Monkey:  "It's steak?  But what is it?"  Obviously he has read enough animal books to realize that there is no such animal as a steak animal.
Me:  (In my head, "Oh God, please don't be asking what I think you're asking.  I don't  need you to be freaking out about animals!") To him, "What do you mean?"
Monkey:  "Is it chicken?"
Me: (NOOOOOO!!!!!!) Much calmer, "No."
Monkey:  "Then what is it?"
Me:  "It's beef."  (After all, beef is going to make much more sense.)
Monkey:  "Beef?  Noooo, what animal is it?"
Me:  "It's cow."
Monkey:  Very matter of fact, "Oh.  It's cow?"
Me:  Please let this end,  "Yes"
Monkey:  "Oh.  How did they kill it?"
Me:  Uuuuhhhh.... blank stare.... "I have no clue.  How do you like the carrots?"

He surprisingly dropped the subject but it was not forgotten.  It came up again at the butcher.  I wanted to buy a duck and had the boys with me.

Me to the butcher:  "Do you have any duck?"
Butcher:  "Yes, they're over here, I'll show you."  Monkey follows her.
Monkey:  "You have ducks?  Where are they?"
Butcher:  "Uuuhhhh.... Well they're not really ducks.... They're uuuhhh.... I think you're mommy was calling you."  (I really had said his name, but I don't think either of them heard since I knew this could only go wrong.)
Monkey:  "Are the ducks in there?"  Pointing right at the ducks in refrigerator.
Me:  "Uuuuhhhh...."
Butcher:  Choosing to leave me on my own, "I'll let you choose which one you'd like."
I finally decide to tell him that those are the ducks.  He seems completely unfazed by this and continues his interrogation.
Me: "Yes, those are the ducks."
Monkey:  "Oh, where's the head?"
Me:  please let this end... "I'm not sure.  It's not there."
Monkey:  "Oh, what about the feet.  Where are the feet?"
Me: "I don't know Monkey, let's keep going."
Monkey:  "Well how can it walk around?"
Apparently not having a head to see wasn't as concerning as the lack of feet.
Me: "It can't, it's dead, it's not going to walk around.  Ever.  Let's keep going."
We continue to walk to the counter and as I'm looking at the different salads they have, he starts up again.
Monkey: "Who killed it?"
Me:  Really?  Really.  "I don't know, probably the farmer or the butcher."  As soon as I said the last part, I realized I made a mistake.
Monkey: To the butcher, "Did you kill the duck?"
Butcher:  "Um.  What?"
Monkey:  "Where did you kill it?"
Butcher:  "I think it was the farmer."

I quickly say that the butcher doesn't know and let's go!  I pay for the duck (grab a free sample), apologize and leave.  The poor butcher, she earned her pay for the day!

I'm planning on making roast sherry duck with it.  I need to buy some sherry but couldn't handle another stop with the unknown questions.

Vicky

The tiger that wore a dress

Sunshine is entering first grade (yikes!).  This means that she has learned all sorts of things in kindergarten.  I'm not talking about reading, writing and arithmetic kind of stuff.  I mean the things that she learns from other kids.


I suppose some of them are good.  I suppose.  Acceptance of others and yourself.  Making friends.  Taking turns and playground rules.


Hmmm... Taking turns and playground rules...  I'm not sure she's quite figured that out.  Maybe I should say it hasn't transferred over to playing with her brother.  She has learned one particular playground necessity.  It's that obnoxious "Eenee, Meenee, Minee, Moe", the one that will ultimately decide who gets to go first, who gets the last piece, and who is right in some bizarre debate.  Sunshine has learned that she can control who wins, sort of.  Now many children figure out that depending on how many there kids there are and who you start with will depend who gets the coveted item.  Not Sunshine.  She knows that when it lands on her, she wins, but she hasn't quite gotten the rhythm yet.  The solution?  Cheat.  At the end of the phrase, when she realizes she has lost, she will continue.  And continue.  And continue.  Until it ends on her.  This means it can last for quite a while and may go something along the lines of:


"Eenee, meenee, minee, moe,
Catch a tiger by its toe,
If he hollers let him go,
Eenee, meenee, minee, moe." - Now this is when it should end and the winner is pronounced.  Sunshine may continue with the accepted.
"My mother told me to go out and pick the best one." - Again, if it doesn't land where it should, she continues.  Unfortunately for her there isn't an accepted phrase(s).
"And she should get buy a dress to wear to a party
Because her dress is dirty." -Ooh, still not a winner.  Continues:
"And she goes to the store to buy a dress,
And some milk and some bread."


By this point I hear what is happening and I tell her that it's Monkey's turn.  I've heard her go on for quite a while though and her train of thought goes flitting from one topic to the next.  Tigers, mothers, dresses and stores for that matter are forgotten and she has moved on to another idea.  So far Monkey hasn't complained, if nothing else, it is good entertainment for a few seconds.

Vicky

English; making learning a new experience

There are sooo many different conversations that you can have with your children when you're in the car.  Often times you're not even sure what it is you're talking about but a lot of "uh huh's" and "oh yeah?" come out of your mouth as you attempt to pay attention to the road as the kids in the backseat go, "Mommy, Mommy, Moooommy!"


Sometimes the conversations are not only memorable, they are worthy of being written down.  This is between me and Sunshine.


Sunshine:  "Mommy?"  It's probably the third or fourth (or seventh) time they've said my name and asked the question, but I was trying to drive.


Me:  "Yes?"


Sunshine:  "Why do they call it a stampede?"


Me:  "What?"  Because I couldn't have heard it properly, why on earth would they think I knew why they called it a stampede?


Sunshine:  "Why do they call it a stampede?"


Me:  "I don't know.  Because the person who wanted to name it thought it sounded like a good name?"  Which is really mostly true.  Someone had to name it and someone had to think it was an appropriate word.


Sunshine:  "NOOO!!!  I want to know why it's called  a stampede?"


Me:  *sigh*  "I have no idea.  Why do you think it's called a stampede?"


Sunshine:  "Is it like they're peeing on the toilet?"


Me:  "Huh?"  It's the exact word too.  Where on earth does she get her reasoning?  She tends to come up with some very odd explanations of things and sometimes asking her to explain is even more confusing.


Sunshine:  "Is it like they're peeing.  You know, maybe they're sitting on the toilet, peeing."


Me:  "Why would you think that?"


Sunshine:  "Because of the name."


Me:  "The name?  Where do you get that from?"


Sunshine:  "You know."  Because saying 'you know' makes it all make sense.  "Like the name, stampede.  Like peeing on the toilet."


Me:  It suddenly dawns on me.  Stampeed.  Not stampede, but stampeed.  Like stamp-peed, like peeing on the toilet.  I laugh, "No, it's not like peeing on the toilet!"  It just means they're running.


Sunshine:  "Maybe they're peeing when they're running."


Me:  "No, probably not."


Sunshine:  "Because that would be pretty funny, if they were all peeing when they were running."


Me:  I make the mistake, "No, it would probably be pretty gross."  'Gross', a child's invitation.


Sunshine:  "Maybe they would be running and peeing and they would all be like, 'Aaahhh, we're all peeing!'"


Monkey:  He's been quiet for most of this.  "Then there'd be pee everywhere!"


Sunshine:  Breaks in to a 'pee' song.  It goes kind of like this: Pee, pee, pee, pee, pee.  You get the idea.


Monkey:  He decides this is a good song and sings along.


They both continue to sing the pee song until we get there, 10 minutes away.  They are both laughing hysterically and Sunshine is practically crying she thinks this is so funny.


In case you are wondering where she learned the word 'stampede', it was on Martha Speaks
on PBS.  It's a great TV show that the kids learn all sorts of vocabulary, that particular day happened to have the word stampede.  See, this is what happens when you let your child watch education television, you end up listening to pee songs in a small, enclosed vehicle.  Thanks PBS.

Vicky

Just don't tell my mom

Around fifth grade or so my mom went back to work and in sixth grade my two older sisters and I were left on our own during the summer.  You can imagine what happens when three girls are left to their own devices.  My older sister and I enjoyed breakfast at around 10:00 (or later) and it often consisted of ice cream.  Lunch would be peanut butter on a spoon, the spoon was double dipped.  Then we spent a lot of the days doing, well, nothing.


Often times our Saturdays would be filled with cleaning the house top to bottom.  No doubt it's because the three of us destroyed the house all week long and left it to be such a disaster that come Saturday we had no other option than to have an eight hour cleaning "fest".  We also didn't get an allowance per se.  It was more of an occasional payment for our chores around the house.  It was definitely not a continual thing.  We would go a long time without ever getting this payment opportunity, instead we had to clean because, as my mom always said, "it was part of being a member of the family".  You would think that when this rare event did occur that we would jump at the chance to earn some extra cash.


You would think.


One summer my mom wrote out a long list of chores we could do over the summer.  They were labelled as daily, weekly and once during the summer.  Next to the chore was the amount that you would get paid.  ex: washing the kitchen floor (hands and knees mind you)-weekly, $.50, Dishes-daily, $.15, Vacuuming downstairs-weekly, $.25.  I suppose looking back I could have made a fair amount of money for something that I wasn't being paid for the week before.  I didn't look at it that way.  I saw $.50.  Washing the floor on my hands and knees on a weekly basis for $.50.  This was already something I was doing since we didn't have a mop, I just wasn't getting paid for it.


I remember my mom telling us, "These are the chores you can do to earn extra money."


Did you read the flaw in that sentence?  It's a simple word that shouldn't make a difference.  Can.  You can do this.  She never said you have to do this.


That particular summer I happened to be babysitting a lot.  I was making quite a bit of money.  $2/hour is awesome when you're 12 in the late eighties.  It shouldn't have come to a surprise when partway through the summer I haven't been doing my chores.  When she not so quietly brings the fact that I'm slacking, I (with the indifference that only a teen can manage), I tell her, "I didn't need any money."


I think that was the last summer we were given the money incentive.


Now I have Monkey.  He is a lot like me in many ways.  For him, it is all about the wording.


Tonight was no exception.  After dinner, I wanted Sunshine and Monkey to clean up their toys.  I told them both that when they were done they could have their piece of cake.  No, that's not what I said, what I said was, "If you clean your toys, you can have a piece of cake."  Did you see the problem there?  Yes, it's the word "if".  As in, "If you choose to clean, you can have a piece of cake.  He clings to that if and tells me, "I don't want any cake."


Me: "What?!"
Monkey: "I don't want any cake."
Me: "Then don't have any cake, but you're still cleaning the room."
Monkey: "Can I go outside and play?"
By this point Sunshine is almost done picking up her toys.  I tell to go outside and play, but he will not be getting any cake or any other kind of dessert.  I would also add that we don't really have dessert that often here so it's a big deal to have cake.
So he goes outside to play, Mary picks up the last 2 toys (literally, there were 2 more toys) and sits down to eat her well earned dessert.  I am fully expecting a chocolate-envy meltdown.  Bug and I are also eating cake and in comes Monkey and, sure enough, he asks for a piece of cake.  I tell him "No.  Why can't you have any cake?"  I was impressed at how easily he answered, "Because I didn't pick up my toys."  He took this as a good reason and goes back outside to play.  Sunshine finishes her cake and goes outside to play with him.


Hubby comes home at about this time and, once again, Monkey asks for a piece of cake and we have the same conversation.  Again, he accepts the reasoning.  I am truly amazed.  I tell him that if he had wanted cake he should have helped Sunshine clean.  He replies, "That's ok, I don't want cake."


Really?  He didn't ask for cake anymore and was quite happy knowing that he got out of cleaning.  I think I need to remember this and always think before I speak.  Apparently I need to make sure he doesn't have any kind of option whatsoever.


I'm open to suggestions on new verbiage.

Vicky

Hats, hats and more hats!

Monkey has the most animated voice of a 4 year old that I know.  His facial expressions are one of a kind.  He has a knack for getting the combination of the 2 in the best possible ways that make you laugh, even - or especially - when he's being naughty.  And now, you can apparently add story teller to his 'list'.


Monkey and Bug both have cute Monkey hats.  Monkey's happens to be one of those sock monkey hats with the long braids coming down from the side/ears.  They're cute, especially on a kid.  I'm not one who has enough self-confidence to be able to pull it off.


They other day, Monkey and I were sitting down and he asks me where was my monkey hat.  (After all, everyone must have a monkey hat.)  I told him I didn't have a monkey hat only he and Bug did.  This would be the part where is able to get this surprised/shocked look on his face along with a gasp of disbelief.  Of course he wanted to know why and I told him that I just didn't have one and that not everyone has monkey hats.


This is his reply:


"Mommy, Daddy and me and Sunshine are going to go to the dore and get you a monkey hat.  I will wap it up and hide it behind dis chair.  You will close yo'r eyes.  I will put the present on yo'r yap.  I will tell you to open it.  You will open it and you will be so surprised and you will say, 'Oh my doodness, a monkey hat!  I wuv it!"  And den you will put it on and you will have dese long thingies on the side like I do and you will pull your hat way down and it will keep yo'r ears nice and warm."


Now all that the story needs is a store that is still stocking hats.

Vicky

Making me proud

This is a warning:  To anyone who doesn't want to read about how awesome my child is, they may want to stop now!  Why you wouldn't want to read about this though is unknown and you may need to rethink the things that are truly important in life... namely, my kids!  :)  Happy reading, I hope everyone has a chance to love someone as much as I love all of my children.


Sunshine is in Daisies and I am the co-leader.  I remember being the leader's daughter growing up and as the leader's daughter I was expected to behave better than the other girls, after all, if I acted like this in front of my mother, how was I when she wasn't there?  Anyways, there are 14 little girls in the troop.  They are all in kindergarten and range from age 5-6.  We meet in the gymnasium after school and they are LOUD.  It's amazing the volume that they are able to produce.


After our last meeting, I spoke to Sunshine about being good and setting a good example for the other kids.  Of course she asked why the other kids weren't being good and I said that that wasn't the point.  I couldn't really say that it was because I couldn't yell at them and put them in the corner for the rest of the night, that didn't really sound fair.  She listened seemed to understand and agree and we left it at that.


At our last meeting we also talked about having a toy drive.  The girls were supposed to bring in a gently used toy of theirs that they no longer played with that would be given to a family in need.  The leader told the girls that if they didn't want to part with one of their own toys, they could go out and buy a toy.  I looked at it as an excellent way to empty out at least one toy from our ever growing toy bins and to teach her all about giving.  On the way home she said that she knew what toy she wanted to give.  I was a little surprised that she knew already and figured it was some little toy that was either falling apart or was her brother's.  I asked her what it was and she told me (in a very excited voice too), "We can give away my doll!"  What doll?  She has a few but doesn't really play with any of them.
So I ask her "What doll?"
"My Barbie doll!"
That really cool Barbie that has a dress that lights up and spins around?  NO NOT THAT ONE!!!
"Which Barbie doll?"
"The one with the light up dress!  I don't really play with it so maybe another little girl would like it."
How can I argue with that?


Fast forward to yesterday to our next meeting...


I hadn't talked to her about the toy drive since December and was concerned about giving the Barbie away.  I brought it with and figured I'd deal with any tears or an upset child when I got there.  I gave her the Barbie and told her to give it to the leader for the toy drive.  Without batting an eye, she handed it over.  Later she told me that she was happy she gave the toy away but she would miss it.


She also must have remembered the talk we had back in December.  Sure enough, every time I looked over at her she was calm and very sweet.  The other children may have been running around but not Sunshine, when I told everyone to sit in a circle, she was the first to do so.  Later she made sure she pointed it out, just in case I hadn't noticed it.

Vicky

Innocence

The other day we were all sitting in the car and having a grand ole' time.  Somehow, and I can't really say for sure, the subject came up of growing up and babies and getting married.  Sunshine was the one leading this conversation, she had many questions and many comments on the whole issue.  So Hubby and I finally ask her, "Who are you going to marry?"


I've heard her say about 100 times that she was going to marry Peyton, a little boy who used to be in her preschool class.  I was quite surprised then when she responds "Caden."


Me: "Who's Caden?"  I've been in her classroom a couple of times being room mom and I can't picture a Caden.


Sunshine: "He's a boy in my class.  He sits at the blue triangle table."


Me:  Trying to be very calm and not smile, lest she think that we're laughing at her, "Why do you want to marry him?"


Sunshine: In a dreamy voice that I thought could only be learned from watching cheesy 1980's TV shows, "Because he's sooooo handsome."


What!  Handsome!  He can't be more than 6!


Me: "Is he nice?"


Sunshine:  "Uh, yeah, he's nice."


Hubby: "Is he smart?"


Sunshine: "I don't know."


Me: "Does he play with you?"


Sunshine:  "Yes, he'll sometimes play with us."


Me:  Trying to push the 'nice' factor of choosing someone on my 5 year old, "So you want to marry him because he's nice?"


Sunshine:  "Um yeah, but mostly because he's soooo handsome."


As if this couldn't get any worse, we were at my parents' house today and I was sitting with my sisters, cousin, and mom.  Sunshine was sitting at the table with the kids and eating dessert.  I mentioned it (ok, I told the story a couple of times) to my sisters and my cousin and my oldest sister said something along the lines of "What!, a boyfriend in kindergarten!"  There were 3 little girls at this table 6 1/2, 6 and Sunshine who is almost 6.  The other 2 little girls (my nieces) are saying that they don't like boys, they're yucky.  You know, the whole cootie bit.  Well my little Sunshine pipes up and says that she likes boys and when she gross up she's going to marry Caden.  When my niece asked why, sure enough, she said because he's "soooo handsome."


Vicky

Nonuts and ice cream, can it get any better?

Bug's favorite things in the world?  Ice cream and doughnuts.  Only he doesn't say doughnuts, he says nonuts and he says it in a deep voice and gets all goofy.  If you want to bribe him, you're best doing it with a trip to Dunkin' Donuts.  He likes the chocolate glazed doughnuts best and it needs to be cut up and eaten with a fork.  If it's not cut up, he won't eat it.  He will call and call and call begging you to come cut up his doughnut and to get a fork as he is not able to get into the silverware drawer.


The funny part?  He doesn't always eat all of either one.  So often I will see him leave the table with 1/2 of the doughnut or ice cream left.  If the ice cream is in a cone, he usually doesn't get to the cone part.  But still, he claims they're his favorite thing.


However, if you put a plate of cucumbers, cauliflower, broccoli, and well, basically any vegetable, he'll eat the whole plate and ask for more.


The other day I was talking to my mom on the phone.  I was in the kitchen and Monkey was in the family room.  My Mom said she saw a doughnut maker.  I casually and quietly "A doughnut maker?"  She said she wasn't planning on buying it buy thought of Monkey when she saw it.  Well Monkey, who doesn't listen to you when you're sitting next to you, is around the corner in the other room and he comes trotting in, "A NONUT MAKER???!!!  I want a doughnut maker!  I yuuuuv nonuts"  And here we thought he might be having problems with his hearing.

Can life get any better than ice cream and nonuts?  I think not!

Haha!  As I sit here finishing typing, he comes along and stands over my shoulder saying, "Ice cream!  Nonuts!  Can we get some Mommy!"

Vicky

How do you sanitize a baby's mouth?

Monkey is slowly, slowly, slowly going through the potty training process.  I am desperate and not above bribery and doing anything I need to do to coerce him to go on the toilet.  He prefers the potty seat though.  I have been changing diapers and wiping butts for a combined total of 8 years and I'm not even close to being done yet, wiping out a little potty seat really isn't a big deal.  Especially if it works.  Especially if it works!


I used to have issues with putting the potty seat in the family room.  The thought of a child pooping in the living space kind of grossed me out.  I DID have issues with it.  Then I realized that they already go to the bathroom in the living space, they are capable of stinking up a room regardless if they have a diaper on, I've been watching them poop and make poop faces since they were born, and if the diaper leaks or they don't make it to the bathroom on time, you still have to deal with poop in the living room.  That said, we have the potty seat in the family room, right in front of the television.  It makes it a lot easier to convince Monkey to sit on the toilet every 25 minutes if he's not having to stop in the middle of what he's doing.  I don't want toys or books in the bathroom (we have a small bathroom and I worry that he will "put them down" in the toilet).


We also had to get a new potty seat.  The one we had bought for Sunshine had to be thrown away and we figured we'd get one that was a bit more compact.  This seemed to be a good choice, the lid flipped up without having to flip completely back, it was a sturdy stool (not that we use it as a stool since it's in our family room), it had a little boy "spray" cup, and it played music.  I kind of thought the music part was a little over the top, but whatever.  The music part doesn't work either by the way.


Well Bug is a year and one year olds are, if nothing else, curious.  It turns out that the lid is great to pull up and stand on.  It's fun to open and close the lid.  It's fun to mess around with the toilet ring that is inside.  It's also fun to take the little removable pee cup off.  For those who don't know what the pee cup is, it's a little cup that sticks up and allows a little boy to go potty without having to worry about making sure he's pointed completely down.  It is often peed on instead of the child's legs or your floor.  So now, Bug has not only take this little pee cup off, he has also placed it halfway in his mouth.  Oh.  My.  God.  Get.  That.  Out.  Of.  Your.  Mouth.  There he is, playing with some other toy with this pee cup in his mouth.  When I yell his name, he just looks up and smiles, pee cup and all, and takes off crawling.  He knew he wasn't supposed to have it, which is why he was giggling.  


I swear, I only left him alone for a few minutes.  I had to make dinner!  He was playing so nicely with his blocks!  It's not like he was alone for hours or even 15 minutes, it was literally less than 5 minutes and this is what he decides to do.


If for some bizarre reason I had put this in my mouth, I would have triple brushed my teeth (thrown away said brush) and continued to swish my mouth wish mouthwash.  How on earth do you clean a baby's mouth?  This cannot possibly be good.


What's worse, while I was washing off his hands, all I could think of was, "Please don't cuddle me and put your mouth or face on me."  Of course as I dried his hands I got past that thought and I thought of something else; I nurse.


So much for not being phased by bodily functions.

Vicky