Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Not for the delicate - crunchy gone bad

Over the last 2-3 years I've found myself heading towards "the crunchy side".  It first happened when before I got pregnant with Bug.  I decided to take the plunge to use a "cup".  For those of you who do not know what a "cup" is, I will spare you the gory details and say that it's an internal cup for that time of the month.  No pads or tampons required.  If you really want (or need) to know, I suggest you check out their website.  Talking about parts of my body is a bit embarrassing.  Of course, typing it to a bunch of strangers is somewhat acceptable.  Anyways... I found that I was a "cup" flunky.  It didn't really matter though, three months into using it, I got pregnant with Bug.

Then my crunchiness continued.  When I was about 6 months pregnant, with Monkey still in diapers, I slowly convinced Hubby to start using cloth diapers.  After much thought on his part, he agree.  He assumed it would save us money, of course that was before...  So now I'm a full fledged cloth diapering addict.

Bug is now 15 months, Monkey will turn 4 on Saturday and (thank you God) is 99% potty trained.  So my crunchiness continues.  I decided that me being a "cup" failure wasn't going to deter me from being green and that I needed something else to buy since I obviously couldn't be buying a ton more diapers.  So I decided to try using reusable menstrual pads.  I have yet a need to use them, but I'm ready for when the need arises.

So on the couch was just one.  It needed to be put away but I had a TON of laundry to put away.  Sunshine says to me, "Mommy, what is this?"

Uuuhhh.  Uuuhhh.  Now, I really haven't given it any thought as to when a good time to explain a woman's body and the need for those but it certainly wasn't 3 days after she turned 6.  So, with the answer that would make any 1950's housewife proud, I promptly answered, "Uuuuhhh, don't worry about it."

Sunshine: "Yeah, but what are they?"

Me: "They're mine so don't worry about it."

Sunshine: "Is it for your arm?"

What?  Me: "No, it's not.  It's for grown-ups and that's all you need to worry about."
The more I answer, the more ridiculous I hear myself sounding but really?  This should not be a conversation.

Sunshine: "Yeah but it has these little snaps on them and if you put them together it looks like it can go around your arm."  Then she proceeds to snap them and and tries to put it on her arm.

For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, the little snaps go around the undies to keep them in place.  They're the wings of your pads.  Like I said, I haven't needed them, they just needed to be put away.

Oh.  My.  God.

To make matters worse, I was in the middle of changing Bug's diaper and wasn't able to get up and snatch it out of her hands/off of her arm.

At this point she thinks she is being funny and is laughing at me and my embarrassment.  All I can do is hope that this is one of those moments that she will not remember when she finally learns about the birds and the bees.  Apparently that will happen when she is in 5th grade and won't be happening by me.


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