Monday, January 7, 2013

Finding relief - at the grocery store

Any mom will tell you that a great way to escape the kids is to go grocery shopping without the kids.  Going by yourself accomplishes a few things, 1. you can go faster 2. you don't have to listen to them (argue, ask for stuff, or just general whining) 3. you spend less money and buy what you really need 4. you can be alone.  Oh, being alone.  Those coveted words that I will say in conjunction to going to the grocery store.  To stare at rows and rows of fresh produce, try the samples at the deli counter, push a cart that is about 30 pounds lighter, these are all things I delight in.  I know on grocery shopping days (nights), Hubby makes sure he gets home at a reasonable time, he puts the kids to bed while I'm off to the grocery store.

This has not happened the last two times I've gone to the grocery store on my coveted grocery shopping night.  Tonight I went to the store, I stop at the deli counter (where they always let you have a sample), I stare at the produce and pick up what I need (the kids haven't touched them*), and continue around the corner.

As I turn the corner I see him.  The stock guy that last time I was shopping he followed me down the cereal aisle and then again through the organic food aisle.

Apparently I made an impression on him because when he saw me he says, "Hey, you're back!" Uh, yeah.  I do my grocery shopping here, although I am considering changing my store.  Down the cereal aisle I go with my 6'2" shadow following after me, telling me all about his father's business, growing up and being sent to his room, and then, this is the best part, his ex-girlfriend.  Oh my gosh, is he really telling me about his ex?  I am frantically going through my coupons, hoping he'll see that I'm busy (doing my grocery shopping) but on and on he drones, never stopping.  I temporarily consider doing a self-induced coughing fit (remember the flu I had, yeah, now I'm coughing) but then I realized that I would probably just end up peeing.  Yes, having a girl pee in front of you is indeed a turnoff, it's also probably uncomfortable walking down the frozen food aisle with wet undies.  Instead I continue and do the only logical thing I can think of: I call Hubby and quietly demand he call me back.  He too remembers the store stalker and calls me back while laughing.  I make my escape and continue to see him throughout the store.  When he says something about it, I say to him that I think he must be following.  I said it as though I was joking but I think he got the point and walked away, either that or his section ended at the cleaning supplies aisle.  Hubby says it was a hostile sh

Half of my coveted alone time - gone.  Who knows when I will go grocery shopping again (probably next week) and if this guy will be stocking.

Hubby says it was a hostile shopping environment.

Now, some of you may think that this is just a one time, crazy person thing.  No.  I go into a store, any store, and someone stops and starts talking to me.  Usually someone of my parents' age or older, but they will stand there and talk to me, or should I say they talk at me, because I end up just smiling and nodding.  Hubby didn't believe me.  He thought I was making it up so I could lengthen my time at the grocery store.**  Then after I started telling him the stories these people were telling me, he started paying attention more when we went out.  We would be walking along and he'd turn around and I'd be gone.  Taken by some conversationalist who saw a sucker willing to stand there and listen to their woes, their advice, their stories.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes it is nice hearing a grown up's voice directed at you in a friendly manner (not yelling at you out their car window with their middle finger up) but sometimes it is just so nice to be alone.


*Please, always wash your fruits and veggies.  This is not to wash off the pesticides, this is to wash off the germs that have accumulated from all the little kids touching the food while on grocery shopping trips during their mother's alone time.
**The grocery store is nice and all, but I don't recommend making it your usual hang out place.  Please, try to mix it up a bit.  Or at least go to different grocery stores.

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