Wednesday, May 23, 2012

From their mouth to my finger

There are all sorts of nasty things that you end up doing as a mom.  And I mean nasty.  One of those things that I absolutely hate is pulling things from babies' mouths.  Especially if they've been chewed on.  So here's a list of things I've pulled out (or attempted to pull out) of mouths in the last 6 years:

1.  Dog food.  Yuck.  This is so incredibly disgusting.  I don't like feeding the dog because the smell and feel of the food grosses me out.  Both Sunshine and Bug have decided to share Lily's dinner.  It doesn't matter how much it gives you dry heaves., round pieces of food have to be pulled out of the mouth.

2.  Bird poop.  Monkey did this when he was learning to walk.  We were going for a nice walk in my parents' neighborhood and he squats down and is looking at something, we thought it was yet another ant.  He promptly picks something up and eats it.  We look and there on the ground are small piles of bird poop.

3.  Sand/dirt.  Monkey tasted sand a couple of times but Bug seems to really enjoy the flavor of sand and dirt.  It is guaranteed that he will, at some point in his sandbox play, put a handful of sand in his mouth.  Lucky for him (and me) we keep the sandbox covered.

4.  The "pee cup" of the potty seat.  This still makes me shudder and gives me the urge to bathe Bug.

5.  Crayons.  Besides the fact that they are choking hazards, yes, this is gross.  If you've never had to do it, it's really icky.  It gets all crumbly and breaks into teeny tiny pieces.  The pieces end up in the molars and between the teeth and cheek.  When you try to pull it out, the drool that comes out is a "fun" color.  It sticks to their cheeks and they (they meaning Bug) cries because you're taking something out of his mouth, which causes more drool.  Instead, the best thing to do is get a paper towel and dig in there.  I was just reminded about the multi-colored poop that will most likely stain my diapers.  Thanks.

6.  Maxi pads.  Both disposable and cloth.  They've always been clean but there's something about your kid walking around with a pad in their mouth, although it is pretty funny too.  Used pads would be beyond gross.

7.  Underwear.  Again, it's always (at least I think it's always) been clean, but still.

8.  Water.  This would be the water that they aren't supposed to get to: the dog's water, the cat's water... the toilet water.

9.  Soap.  Never after eating any of the above items, this is gross just because of the strong smell.

10.Dog toys.  Sunshine was addicted to carrying the dog's toys around in her mouth.  She would often take toy directly out of the dog's mouth, meaning it was still covered with slobber.  It may not be that big of a deal, but it is funny.  Sometimes I think we should have just gone down the toy aisle at PetSmart instead of going to the toy store.

The best thing to do when your child is about to put something in their mouth that they shouldn't is to go run and grab the camera.

I'm sure there have been much nastier things, if this is the case, I am happy that I have been able to suppress the memory.



  1. We're better off if we just don't think about what else they've put in their mouths...

  2. Haha. My mom juuuuust told me I would need to be on the lookout once my son starts crawling. I told her "It can't be worse than the cats" .. She gave me one of those "you have no idea" looks and changed the subject.