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Sunday, March 31, 2013

Good karma

How often do we do things for people?  Nice things, no strings attached, I'm-doing-this-just-because-I-want-to things.  Have you ever experienced the gratitude from someone when you've done something nice for them, just for the sake of being nice, how truly thankful someone is when they are sometimes just being nice?

Sometimes giving can come in the easiest and simplest forms.

I've handed people my coupons at the grocery store before (usually for formula or diapers) but what I experienced the other day at Target cannot be compared to the piddly $2 off swim diapers coupons.

I was at Target the other day and was standing in line, listening to the beep. beep. beep. of the checkout scanners.  I was just about to pay when the lady behind me said she had a coupon I could use, it was $10 off if you spent $100 or more.  She pulls out her smart phone and has an app with coupons on it.  The checker scans it and I thank her about 3+ times.  Then she says, hang on, I've got a couple more.

She continues to show him more and more coupons until she has suddenly saved me $23.  I thank my new best friend another dozen times and wish her a Happy Easter.

I left Target with a smile and a reminder of how easy it is to make someone feel good and what a wonderful feeling it is.  Bringing happiness to others will bring happiness to you.

Vicky

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Washing up

I found this in my drafts of posts to be finished.  I'm not sure what else there was to it, but it is Monkey true and true.  I love that this is really how he spoke.  His speech has gotten so much better, he has dropped what some may call baby talk, he's 4 1/2 at the time, about 6 months shy of officially ending speech.  It's like watching videos of your babies and hearing their little voices.

Written on 6/5/12

I was kissing Monkey's hand and flipped it over to kiss the palm of it and sniffed.  It smelled kind of... icky.  Kind of... I don't know, just, icky.  So I told him,

Me:  "Your hands smell kind of stinky.  You need to go wash them."

Monkey:  Takes a deep sniff of his hand, "Dey, don't mell dinky to me."

Me:  "Maybe you should go wash them."

Monkey:  In a very calm voice, "Nooo, dat's ok.  Dey don't need to be washed."

Vicky

Monday, March 25, 2013

Is it a lie or a very detailed story?

Monkey has a wild imagination and has always been willing to tell you stories in extreme detail.  He has always been able to tell you some wild story and 2 hours later tell someone else the same story with the same details.  He never seems to forget how the story went the first time and if you ask him the same question each time, he'll have the same answer.

Some day Monkey will be a teenager and this skill has me very concerned.

This is Monkey's story:

I was taking a shower, Bug was napping, and Monkey and Sunshine were watching TV.  I took a fast shower because all sorts of things can happen when you're in the shower.

I got out of the shower and heard Bug awake, the older 2 were in there keeping him company.  I can only assume that me walking around or the shower itself woke him up.  Either way, he was awake and his siblings were keeping him happy.  What a great brother and sister!

Then I heard squeals and screeches of laughter, thuds on the floor, the bouncing/squeaking of Bug's bed, and the clunk of the gliding chair banging against the wall.  This is obviously not good so I dress as quickly as possible and go in there to assess the damage.

Sure enough, it's not pretty.

Every single book and stuffed animal from his shelf is strewn across the floor.  There are no blankets, toys or pillows in Bug's bed and he's standing there in his crib wearing only his diaper and Sunshine is flinging herself back and forth on the chair making little dents on the wall.

"What's going on in here?!  Who threw these books and toys all over the floor?"

Sunshine sees me and immediately stops rocking and quickly blurts out, "It wasn't me!  Monkey did it!"

I look at Monkey, not completely believing Sunshine.  I'm pretty sure she's had something to do with it as well, but then I get this;

"Bug did it."

"Bug did it?"  Now, please remember, Bug is still in his crib (naked save his diaper).

"Yes, Bug did it."

"So after he climbed out of his bed, he crawled back in?  How did he do this?"

"WELL... He climbed up on the side of his crib and stood on this thingy (the bar for the side of the crib).  THEN, he jumped and grabbed hold of the fan (ceiling fan) and swung around the room and landed on this (a little bitty nightstand).  Then, he jumped onto the floor, walked over to the bookshelf and took everything off the shelf and threw it around the room.  THEN, he climbed back into his crib."

Now I ask you, is this an elaborate lie or a storyteller in the making?


He may look sweet and innocent sleeping there, too bad he wasn't sleeping.  He saw me with the camera and asked me to take his picture.  "Wait, wait, wait," he said.  He closes his eyes for the above, "Ok, now."

Vicky

Growing a greener life

I am amazed at how my life is changing and how easily Hubby goes along with it.  I've always wanted to do greener things.  Growing up I wanted to change the world.  In sixth grade I was first exposed to recycling when I took a recycling/planet/general healthy earth class, I wanted to do something to help the world.

In college I decided I was going to major in environmental geology and geoscience.  For various reasons (only one being me realizing that the degree wasn't what I was looking for), I left college.

This left me in a predicament.  How was I supposed to change the earth if I wasn't fixing it on a grand scale?  Recycling wasn't enough, everyone recycles.  I knew there was more I could do, I just had to find it.

Around this time I discovered cloth diapers, mama cloth, cloth wipes, and homemade/organic/or concentrated cleaning supplies.  Some have worked better for me than others, but they were all working towards the same cause.  Throughout this though, one (of many) that has continued to bother me is the disposal for food, food scraps, and other organic waste.  We've used the garbage disposal but I keep hearing about the negatives to the water treatment plants not to mention my pipes.  I cringed every time I threw something in the garbage can, those items that should decompose in days will last in landfills for years, sometimes decades.

This left me with one solution: composting.  I looked and decided doing a compost pile probably wasn't what I wanted to do, but a tumbling compost bin sounded perfect.  I was able to keep everything contained and turn it without the aid of a pitchfork.  A few spins every few days and it was good to go.  We're able to fill up our plastic collector container in 2-3 days; the recommended number of days you should leave the bin without spinning.

I was absolutely amazed at what I was able to put in my tumbler.  It wasn't just food scraps, paper products such as paper towels and egg cartons.  Odder things that I hadn't thought of such as pickles and alcohol, and very strange things like moldy soy "milk" and dryer lint.

We keep our container in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator.  At first I thought this sounded gross, keeping old, yucky food in the 'fridge.  Then I realized that I've had food go bad in there before, this was being stored for 2 days and in 2 days it wasn't going to go bad or get moldy.

Tumbling composters take far less time simply because they are in an enclosed black container.  I have little patience when it comes to some things and when I decide I'm going to do something like this, I want to do it now... and I expect it to work.  Now.

As I said, Hubby was a bit leery of getting it, especially in the middle of winter when the temperature is usually below 20 degrees.  I think I've turned him to the crunchy side enough that after watching the amount of food scraps go into the garbage that he finally decided that it was a good idea.  He still thought I was crazy and teased me about being excited BUT he was the one who rushed to put it together when it arrived in the mail.

I'm hoping the location works out.  It's right off the deck, next to our clothesline.  I knew I wouldn't want to go out all the time when there was a foot of snow out there if I had to walk across the yard.  I have a feeling it won't be easy to move if we don't like the location.

Only time will tell how our composting excursion goes, but for now, I'm looking forward to using it in our garden this summer.  (Our garden is a whole different issue!)

Vicky

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Riesen

I may not mention her a lot, there's not much to mention, she's a cat, but Riesen is MY cat.  She was given to me as a gift when I was 17.  She sleeps with me every night.  If for some reason I go to bed after Hubby does and she has gone to bed with him, she will get up and move to sleep on me.  I think she's crazy, I've sent her flying on more than one occasion with my sleep habits and out of controls dreams.  But back into bed she crawls.


Every night she likes to come down after the kids are in bed.  She waits.  When the doors are closed and we're reading books, she sneaks downstairs and is waiting for us.  She'll sit on our lap, on the couch, sometimes just sitting in the middle of the family room floor.  She just likes to be with us and the time she lost hiding during the day, she makes up at night.


Did I mention I got her when I was 17?  This means she's 16.  Yes, that's how old I am.  Now I'm not a vet or anything but I'm also not stupid and I know how old cats live to be (I am capable of Googling things).  She is so little, only 6 pounds, if she were to get sick she doesn't have any meat on her bones to keep her going.  I worry about how I will handle telling the kids that their cat, no my cat, is gone.  Of course, if I think about it too much I get all teary eyed and start to cry.

So this post is simply about how much I love my cat.  That's all.  She's not a playful cat, she hides from just about everyone and slinks around the house so much that when she stands up and walks like a normal cat, she seems to have grown 3".  If you want to find her it's almost a guarantee that you will find her in my bedroom either sleeping on the bed, on the floor under the bed, or in the closet.  But she's my cat.  She's beautiful and as I type this she is sleeping on the couch behind me.  Purring.

********************************************************************************




I originally wrote this on 9/16, I didn't post it because I didn't figure anyone really would want to read it.  I wrote it for myself and  have since realized that I want everyone to read it.  Besides which, it's my blog and I can write about whatever I want!

Two weeks ago things changed with Riesen.  We noticed she looked thinner and she seemed to be slinking around lower than usual.  I weighed her and she weighed a whopping 5 lbs 1 oz.  I haven't taken her to the vet in forever and was concerned about bringing her.  She is so scared I didn't want to stress her out even more.  She was still eating, just not keeping the weight on.

The vet told us to give her wet food, either for seniors or for kittens since they both have a higher fat content and to give her plenty of treats.

Off to the pet store I went to buy a variety of canned cat food and more treats.  The treats she had has a lower fat content than others and we were looking to fatten her up.  With food and treats in hand we went home to give her this new (disgusting smelling) cuisine.  Well she did not want to eat it mixed with her dry but she ate it plain but then she wasn't.

She slowly stopped eating as much of her food and wasn't touching the dry food at all.  Can after can we'd open and she would only lick at the gravy.  We took her to the vet in hope that she had only a tooth abscess, they would yank the tooth and she would be fine.  Deep inside I knew this wasn't the case, but the glimmer of hope was still there.

The extremely mean vet told me that she was in the final stage of renal failure and was anemic and if I had brought her in sooner she may have been ok.  He said she was in pain, dehydrated, and did I want to put her down right then and there?  At this point I was sobbing, I told him no, asked him to give her some fluids, and said I would bring her home for now.

When I picked the kids up after the visit, Sunshine figured it out immediately.  She asked if the vet told us that Riesen had to die.  How do you respond to that?  I couldn't lie but it broke my heart to tell her yes.  We both cried as I told her she was very old, very sick and it was almost her time to die.

I brought her home and we kept her with us for the weekend.  She stopped eating altogether, and was only drinking water when it was coming from the faucet.  She slept in her bed in our closet and uncharacteristically let the kids hold her.  We took picture after picture of her and every night we made sure we said good night to her and every morning we said good morning.  We made sure we reminded the kids that she was sick and it was important to remember her good morning and good nights.

Hubby and I had decided that Monday would be the day.  If God didn't take her sooner, we were going to help and make her pain go away.  At night she came down as always and laid on my lap.  She didn't perch on my lap, but laid down and rested her weight on me.  Laying her head on my hand or arm, she only moved to switch positions.

We had decided Monday since the kids would be in school.  We would take her then and tell her she passed during the day.  I had already told them that she died while they were gone that I was going to bring her to the vet.  Sunday night Hubby and I told them to say good-bye to her, we said we weren't sure she would make it through the night.

The kids saying good-bye was awful.  Sunshine didn't want to leave the closet where Riesen had been sleeping most of the day.  She laid there while Sunshine gently stroked her telling her how much she loved her and what a wonderful cat she was.  She told me she never wanted another cat, she just wanted to keep Riesen.

While we were putting the kids to bed, Riesen went downstairs to wait for Hubby and me, just like always.  She sat in the family room, watching us.  As I had every night, I fed her.  I gave her a fresh can of cat food that she no longer even sniffed at and let the faucet run while she drank more water.  Then I picked her up and we sat and watched TV.  We sat and watched TV for 3 hours, long after I would normally stay up watching but she stayed there on my lap the whole time, letting me pet her, while I thought about 17 years of love and how she now had less than half a day left.  At midnight she finally got up when the couch was bumped into.

Hubby, Riesen and I went up to bed and, again, she sat and watched and waited.  I brought her into bed because she was having a hard time making the big jump, and she slept with us for one last night.  She slept perched on me and by my stomach, something she hasn't done in years, she stayed with me all night long.  When she would normally have jumped down in the morning, she was still there, sleeping by my feet.  I wanted to stay in bed and never move, I didn't want the day to begin, I wanted to feel the weight of her against or on me for as long as possible.

The kids of course saw her and were extremely happy that their good-bye wasn't really a good-bye.  I made sure Sunshine gave her extra hugs and kisses though.  At this point I think she didn't believe me.  I think she really thought that she would still be there when she came home and the next morning when she woke up.

The worst part of making the decision to put your animal to sleep is deciding when.  When do you go to the vet?  8:30?  9:00?  9:30?  Which time is the right time?  Then when you get there, when do you say now is the time?  After 5 minutes of holding and cuddling?  10 minutes?  There will never be enough time because you want the time to last forever.  You never want to say good-bye, you never want to let your pet go.  That selfish part of me was saying that maybe she wasn't so bad because, look! she's wandering around sniffing at things!  Never mind that she hasn't eaten or pooped in a week or that her eyes are no longer bright and shiny.  I was scared to weigh her because I didn't want to know what the scale would read, why bother?

She was dying and it was going to happen, it was merely a matter of when.  The next day?  In 3 days?  How long can a 5 lb cat go without eating?  Probably not very long.  I knew she had to be hurting, how could she not?  Starving, dehydrated, and in pain is not a life or a death I would want to endure, how could I expect this of her.

We saw a different vet at the office, (complained about the first, this vet apologized and apparently that vet is known to be a jackass, but is the owner of the clinic), and we waited.  They let us in the side door.  The door that no one wants to go in and let us go into the room that no one else wants to visit.  They let us sit in there as long as we wanted before anyone did anything and let us get ready.  We cried and said our good-bye and held her, cuddled her, kissed her.  When she wanted to look around, we let her down to wander the room for a minute, I couldn't get the thought out of my head that these are her last minutes as well, even if she doesn't know it.  We cried and when they came in to put in the catheter, we cried even more.

The absolute worse feeling in the world is looking at your animal and knowing that they trust you, thinking that you are going to take care of them and you knowing what is about to happen.  I sat there with my cat as the anesthesia almost immediately took effect.  She laid on my hand and, as they described, pretty much "went to sleep".  But it wasn't sleep, and it wasn't how she ever fell asleep, and I couldn't change my mind.  I wanted to scream NO, I'VE CHANGED MY MIND!  Please, please don't do this.  I cried and apologized to her.  I apologized for not taking better care of her, I apologized for betraying her trust when she needed it most, I apologized for ending her life.  I questioned God and my beliefs.  I questioned what was going to happen.  I didn't care that she was 17 and sick, she wasn't supposed to die this way.  This wasn't humane!  I betrayed her!

We stayed long after, petting her and taking in every hair and spot on her.  When she died she rested her body on my whole hand.  I kept my hand there, remembering the weight of her and pretending the warmth that I was feeling was real.  I knew once I removed my hand, I couldn't put it back under, lifting her body up was not an option for me.  I didn't want to feel her limp like that.  We cried some more but neither of us wanted to leave.  To leave meant leaving for good.  Leaving her and never seeing her again.  Before we left, we wrapped her in the blanket they had her on, gave her one last kiss, and left our Riesen forever.

The kids handled it fairly well.  I think Sunshine was surprised since she was still there this morning after I said she might not make it the night before.  She kept saying she wished she could have just one more good-bye and to pet her just one more time.  I kept telling both of us that "just one more" is never enough and we would always be asking for "just one more".  I told her she had that one more good-bye that morning but I know it wasn't enough.  Because, one more will never be enough.




Riesen: April 1996 - March 18, 2013

Vicky

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Diapering for under $150?

Is it possible?  Diapering your child from birth to potty training for $150, it must be too good to be true because surely the only way this is possible is by either practicing elimination communication* or, or, or what?  It must be impossible.


It is indeed possible and it isn't an unrealistic idea.   Even better, if you continue through the post, you will find even more ideas to save money.

If you haven't figured it out, it does involve cloth diapers.  Not a terrible choice and not something that needs to be difficult.  Cloth diapering is becoming more popular and more and more parents are choosing this green option that saves the planet and money.  (How often are you able to be green AND save money?)

Although I was able to get the number under $100, I felt $150 was more realistic.  You might be thinking, "Yikes!  Buying all those diapers for $150.  I can't afford to pay $150 upfront."  Lucky for you, most women find out they are pregnant early on in their pregnancy.  Start saving $5 a week and you will have saved the $150 by the time your bundle of joy arrives.  A pack of middle of the road diapers can cost you around $.12/diaper if you change your baby 10 times a day (as newborns tend to pee often) you will pay $1.20 a day on diapers.  At $1.20 a day or $8.40 a week (versus the $5 I mentioned) you will pay for all of your cloth diapers and cloth diapering gear in 125 days or 4 1/2 months.

This list does not include changing pads or a diaper bag as these are things you would already be needing or using.  That said, I say use an old towel and backpack work great for a changing pad and diaper bags (this is true for cloth or disposable).

So, let's begin!

$48 - 24 flat diapers
$45- 5 one size diaper covers at $9 each
$1.50 - 4 diaper pins
$15 - 1 diaper pail liner or wetbag
$24 - 2 overnight diaper

Grand total = $133.50

This will diaper your child for 2 days.  Wash the diapers on the second day and use the second overnight diaper while most of the other diapers are in the wash.  

Flat diapers are a great deal.  They are a single layer of material folded into a shape to fit onto a baby of different sizes and genders.  Different folds leave more material in the front versus the middle and you are able to make the diaper smaller to fit your small baby.  The flat diapers I bought when Bug was a baby still fit him today.  Yes they come in toddler size, but at this time, I have not needed to purchase them.




The picture on the left Bug is about 3 months old.  It is an angel wing fold, basically the square flat fold twice and wrapped around the baby.  The picture on the right is the same size diaper.  This was taken a few days ago, Bug is 2 years and 3 months.  It is folded in an origami fold with an extra doubler.  He wandered around for a while without a cover.  The absorbency of a flat is surprising.


<--The back of an origami fold.



Bug wearing a flat under a cover. ---->













Other ways to save:

-You are able to use cloth wipes as well!  Make your own with repurposed material.  I cut up a pair of old sweatpants with shot elastic.  There are sprays and solutions you can make out there or use warm water to wipe your baby's bum.

-Instead of using a wet bag or pail liner, use a plastic garbage bag.  These will not be machine washable.

-For an out and about wet bag, use a gallon sized wet bag.  As most of these commercials claim, they are leak proof, they can hold 3-4 dirty flats and you can wash these by hand.

-Don't buy fancy diaper detergent.  Many people like Original Powder Tide.  I've used Purex Free and Clear with no issues.

-Lengthen the life of your covers by hanging them or laying them out to dry.  Flats and covers dry fast.  If left out overnight they will be dry in the morning.  PUL covers should not be left in the sun for long periods of time, the sun will eventually ruin the material.

There are other things you may wish to buy:
- Extra absorbency pads, as your baby grows and wets more, extra absorbency may be wanted, or you can just use 2 diapers at once
- Liners for the inside of the diaper (makes flushing the poop much easier but completely unnecessary)
- Different fasteners - You may wish to buy a different fastener.  Many people find them easier than pins and is why you will pay between $-$6 for them
- A diaper sprayer**

Now you may be thinking, "But Vicky, what about all that water we'll be using and wasting and paying for by having to wash our diapers?"  I will say, I was quite surprised how little our water bill went up.  So little in fact that when I asked Hubby about it, he said he didn't even notice.  If it did go up, it was no more than a couple of dollars a month, or 2 days of diaper changes.  "But Vicky, what about all the extra time to wash those diapers?"  Well, it does take time to wash them but I put ours in the washing machine at night and in the morning I stick them in the dryer.  Doesn't take up any of my time.  I have found that the biggest time spent with the laundry end is the spraying and the folding.  "YUCK!  I hate folding clothes."  Well, if you're doing flats, they're no different than folding a square pillowcase.  There's no folding involved with the covers.  "YUCK!  Spraying poop!"  Yeah, well, poop is gross but I've had poop ooze and drip out of disposables, squish out onto car seats, get my shirt, pants, robe, socks.  I still have to deal with poop and until they're potty trained and able to wipe their own butts (and wipe them well) I will be dealing with poop.

There is one more issue that I am not able to say I've had to deal with: a laundromat.  I've always had access to my own washer and dryer.  If you do not, you may wish to buy 3 dozen to cut back on how many times you have to head over to the laundromat.  Bringing them home wet and hanging them dry, be it inside or out, will save you money on each load.  For those who are a bit more daring, hand washing is also an option.  Make sure you rinse any poop off in the toilet and wash all soap out until there are no suds.  Soap residue will cause diaper rash and will cause the diapers to stink when they are dirtied again.  This is when being a single layer is also useful.

Now you may be thinking that you remember seeing pictures or posts of my kids wearing different diapers, not just flats.  Very true.  (Thanks for paying attention and being a loyal reader!)  Like most things in life, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.  There are many different types of diapers but if saving money is what you are  want the most, flats are by far the way to go.

Good luck and happy diapering!


Vicky

*Elimination communication: starting at a very young age, parents watch for signs of child eliminating, including, but not limited to, grunting, timing, and other things I don't understand.  (I do not recommend following this description to teach your child elimination communication.)
**This is not at all necessary but I will say I like ours and it has kept Hubby from changing his mind against cloth diapering.  It has also helped wash puke out of clothes, sheets and winter coats.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Teasing

There are few things that bring out the mama bear in me, teasing is one of them.  A little kid teasing my kid is just too much.  Monkey hasn't had to deal with it yet, he's only in preschool, kids don't tease and if they do he hasn't been the brunt of it.  Everyone's friend and oblivious to most things around him, Monkey wouldn't be bothered by a few teasing comments and the kid teasing would leave him alone.

Not true with Sunshine.

Sunshine is just that.  A ray of Sunshine that is sweet and innocent.  Now I'm not saying my child doesn't get in trouble or doesn't do her fair share of fighting with her brother, but suggest that she may have hurt someone's feelings and she will break down in tears.  Things are not supposed to be yanked from people and manners remembered.  In return, she expects the same courtesy and respect-don't we all?

So when a peer is not nice it doesn't make sense.  Why would someone do this?  Why was this random boy at the bouncy area taking this toy?  Even worse though is when a friend, or someone she thought was a friend, isn't nice.  Her heart breaks a little bit more with each comment.  Sweet, confused, easily upset, and innocent, she makes an easy target.

Like everything, there is a hierarchy and sadly, in first grade the mean kids are on top.  Fear of being told they won't be allowed to play on something or with something will keep these targets playing with the mean kids, only encouraging their behavior.  Comments beginning as, "You have to do this if you want to be my friend." escalate to "I thought you were my friend." to complete teasing and making fun of the child that questioned them.  After all, questioning can lead to one thing and one thing only, complete revolution and walking away with all the other kids that are still willing to follow in their shadow.

Unfortunately, Sunshine's been being teased.  It started in November with a boy.  I'll call him N.  In November she and N had been playing with about 6 other kids.  He would make random comments that began with her glasses.  Still believing they were friends, she didn't mention it for quite a while and when she did she was in tears and all sorts of comments came spilling out.

Along came her birthday and N had not been mentioned except in passing.  They played together as a group and she told us about the obnoxious stories (absolute lies) that he claimed were true.  Not understanding why a friend would lie to her when she questioned him, she was willing to believe him.

Unfortunately, the small jabs had continued and I had not known about them.

Recently the comments have been about her lunches.  This makes no sense to me except that being different and not standing up for yourself makes you easy prey for children with low self-esteem and N , T, ( T is in the "I thought you were my friend" stage) and S, have decided to make fun of her healthy lunches.  Tomatoes, dried bananas, and other vegetables, are disgusting and why would she eat them?  She tells them they're good and they should ask their mom to buy them.  It's unfortunate the school doesn't allow sharing, although I doubt they would admit they liked the bananas.  Now she doesn't want to pack those snacks because she is worried about upset about what they will say.  When asked what they bring for lunch, cookies, popcorn, and candy are always on the list.  They also tease about what she watches on TV.  Also extremely unfortunate since I know what shows they are watching and I'd rather not have my daughter watching them.  Her 2 younger brothers are in the same room and they don't need to be exposed to them either.

So I tell her she needs to ignore them and tell a teacher, be it her teacher or the teacher in the lunchroom or playground, as well as ignore them.  Yesterday she comes home, proud of herself for the first time in a while and announces that she ignored N.  He tried to tell her another of his tall tales and apparently she just ignored him.  When he attempted to get her attention, she gave him the cold shoulder.  I hope she remembers to also tell a teacher, she can still hear those comments and I don't want her to develop a low self-esteem, but for now she is standing up for herself and that is something she will need to be able to do for the rest of her life.

I still don't like the kid and wish he moved - just like her told Sunshine he was doing.  I have a feeling the story of N and S moving in together to the city is just another story though.

Vicky