Sunday, September 30, 2012

How safe are we?

The other day the kids were outside playing in the front yard with the 2 neighbor girls, ages 7 and almost 9.  They were riding their bikes and scooters having a grand ole time.  They were out about 45 minutes.  I know because they didn't go outside right after school, Sunshine did some homework type stuff, had a snack and sat relaxing for a few minutes.  By the time they went outside it was late enough that I had told them they could only be out for a few minutes, we still had to eat dinner.

I was making dinner and I would randomly look outside.  A couple of times they rang the bell to give me something and then went back out.  Then, before they knew it, it was time to come inside.

We were going to eat dinner without Hubby, he was going to come home and chow down and leave with us as soon as he was done.  He is capable of eating quickly, the kids? not so much.  So there we are eating our dinner, a nice pleasant meal with all 3 of them liking it AND eating it when Sunshine drops the bomb.

"Monkey went into our neighbor's house."

We don't know most of our neighbors, I'm not sure how it's possible since we're lived here almost 7 years, but I think, I know,  if I were to see them outside on a walk in our neighborhood I wouldn't recognize them.  It's always bothered me as I've always had visions of a neighborhood where we had bar-b-ques and lots of kids running around and being... well... friends with our neighbors.  So when he said this there were 3 people that came to mind and I wasn't sure why she would use the word "neighbors" for 2 of them, she would just say their name.

"What neighbors?"  I name off the 3 and she says no to each, then I say the neighbor across the street that we know but I would be surprised that the kids would willingly cross the street.

Again, no.

She tells me it's the house next to the house next door and she doesn't know them and say "The house with that little dog that's never on the leash and always runs across the street."  She also questions why their dog is never on a leash, but that's beside the point.

I completely freak out.

I question again.  Surely I didn't hear this properly.

I sure did.  She tells me, without falter, that she, Monkey, and the 2 girls they were playing with (sisters, ages 7 and 8) were petting the dog.  Somehow they ended up in the garage then somehow Monkey and the younger sister ended up walking through this guy's house to go to his backyard where he then gave them something to eat.  Sunshine kept saying it was basil but I'm still not sure why.  Monkey agrees with the story and is able to retell it to me without any kind of prompting.  The only difference is the basil, he said it was a tomato.  Sunshine never went into the backyard, she and the older sister stayed in the front yard as they both knew they weren't supposed to go into people's houses.

Hubby still isn't home so I call the father of the two little girls to tell him what's happened.  His wife isn't home at the time and he is also just then hearing the story.  We hang up and I promptly call back and ask him if he'll go over and talk to the guy with me.  I'm not very scary looking and P is.  The neighbor that we only kind of have met a few times is young and has a daughter only a month younger than Bug.  I figured having P go with me and talking maybe we could figure out what happened and, if nothing else, shake some sense into the guy.  We agree that I'll start out the conversation and he'll finish.

My part:  "Hi, P and I just needed some clarification and we hoped that you could help."
Him:  "Sure, what it is?"
Me:  "Did you have a couple of kids in your house about an hour ago?"
Him, still very calm:  "Yeah, your son and his daughter."

That was all of my part of the conversation, P took over from there and questioned the guy as to what the hell was he thinking.  He never yelled, he never swore, he never used the phrase "What the hell were you thinking?"  The guy never seemed to get it though.  He never apologized, he never said, "Gee, I never thought of how bad that could look."  He did however say that he needed to flip his pork chops on the grill or else they would burn.

I asked him if he realized what he did, that he just taught my child that it was OK to go into someones house.  That it's OK to take food from a stranger.  That Monkey now doesn't believe me when I say that it's not safe to go into a stranger's home.  He told me that too.  This isn't a hypothetical "he might".  I did the whole stranger danger shpeal and told him that it's not OK to go into a house without asking.  His little trusting eyes looked right at me and said, "Why not?  Nothing happened, he gave me a tomato."  The neighbor might as well have given him candy and asked him if he wanted to go get some ice cream.

His wife, who has now come out after the neighbor tells her in the foyer by the open front door that we're here attacking him, tells us not to worry and that she's a good person.  She gives us her full resume.  I'm glad she thinks she's a nice person, I'm sure she is.  Neither of them get it.  At all.  I'm hoping they remember this though in a couple of years when their daughter is outside playing and she walks out of line of sight.  I hope they realize what they did and the mistake.

There are always silver linings though and you just have to find it.  This was an eye opener.  I've always said that Monkey is way too friendly.  And he is.  This is my smack against the back of my head that he's not ready yet.  There won't be a next time because there can't be a next time because if it happens again it won't be the dense neighbor 2 doors down.

My babies are more valuable than the world and I won't make that mistake again.


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

I think I felt the baby?

I've watched dozens of those baby shows, especially when I was pregnant.  After I was pregnant, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant came out.  For those who may not know what it is about (or can't figure it out by the title) it is exactly about that.  Women who make it through their whole pregnancy without ever knowing they are pregnant.  Usually they are in the ER and the doctors announce to them that they are in labor.  The women are always in shock, they did just find out they're having a baby now.  The doctors are always in shock, how could you not know you were pregnant.  The of course there's the baby, usually a full term baby weighing at least 6 lbs although I've even seen 8 lbs.  There are so many times a woman will say that she felt something but always assumed it was just indigestion or her bowels.  My reaction?  WHAT?!!!  How on earth could you mistake baby movement for gas?  I know they say that early one the baby movement feels like gas but how could you mistake those huge kicks and rolls or not at least question it?  

I know how.  Over the weekend I had some kind of stomach issue.  Nothing major, just a little bit of a rumbly stomach.  I was sitting down so I felt it even more.  It was  so strong that it truly felt like a baby moving.  If I hadn't known I couldn't be pregnant, I would have been concerned.  If I thought there was no way I could get pregnant but hadn't taken permanent measures, I would probably have gone home and taken a pregnancy test.

That's because I have been pregnant and I know what the movements feel like.  I do wonder  though how often I thought I felt the baby move but I was really only feeling indigestion.

What about the weight?  I gained a lot with all three and looked like someone stuck a basketball under my shirt (and made my face and feet puffy and swollen).  What about that?  Well my body has changed.  I haven't gained weight but boy, my weight has shifted.  Is it because of the babies, not sure, pretty sure it is, but I could easily say the same thing if I weren't.  I could groan and say that I hated my body and how I looked and wonder why I couldn't get those pounds off.

What about your period though?  Well that's something that some women just don't get every month which is part of the reason she would think she couldn't get pregnant to begin with.

Then the show gets obnoxious and says things like, "She had cravings and was tired."  Yeah, well I get tired and have always gotten tired.  I'm pretty sure I'm not unusual with this either, many Americans don't get enough or good sleep (or at least that's what all those mattress commercials tell me!).  I certainly have gone through cravings and haven't said, "Gee, I've been wanting that banana shake an awful lot lately, OH CRAP! I think I might be pregnant!"

So what is this post really about?  I'm not sure except that it's a cruel trick of nature.  I shouldn't be sitting in my car thinking that I just felt the baby move when there is, and never will be, a baby.  It's not fair to dangle the carrot and never allow you to have it.  Do I want another baby?  Not really, I'm happy with how our family is.  Am I happy with our decision?  Not always, permanent things are always so permanent.  Sometimes I wonder if we made the decision too quickly or if we made the decision without thinking it completely through.  Hubby would disagree.  He's completely done having kids but I sometimes I'm sad about the decision.  Sometimes I think about how I'll never get to feel a baby move and kick my bladder.  How I'll never be rushing to the hospital and holding my brand new baby.  It's just sometimes.


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Monday, September 10, 2012

Cow, it's whats for dinner.

I've never understood how some foods we call by their animal name and some foods we call by their body parts.  We have eat ribs, but which animal?  We eat butt steak (although it's origin is not where one would expect it to be) but which animal?  Of course let's not forget the bacon, ribs, and pork chops.  My chicken legs are, well, chicken legs.  Fish is just some general term that includes the entire fish, sometimes including fish that aren't truly fish, for example, "I love fish, especially crab and lobster."

Apparently this lack of terminology also concerns my child.  Monkey has taken it upon himself to question what it is he is eating.

Monkey:  "Mommy, what is this?"
Me:  "It's steak."
Monkey:  "It's steak?  But what is it?"  Obviously he has read enough animal books to realize that there is no such animal as a steak animal.
Me:  (In my head, "Oh God, please don't be asking what I think you're asking.  I don't  need you to be freaking out about animals!") To him, "What do you mean?"
Monkey:  "Is it chicken?"
Me: (NOOOOOO!!!!!!) Much calmer, "No."
Monkey:  "Then what is it?"
Me:  "It's beef."  (After all, beef is going to make much more sense.)
Monkey:  "Beef?  Noooo, what animal is it?"
Me:  "It's cow."
Monkey:  Very matter of fact, "Oh.  It's cow?"
Me:  Please let this end,  "Yes"
Monkey:  "Oh.  How did they kill it?"
Me:  Uuuuhhhh.... blank stare.... "I have no clue.  How do you like the carrots?"

He surprisingly dropped the subject but it was not forgotten.  It came up again at the butcher.  I wanted to buy a duck and had the boys with me.

Me to the butcher:  "Do you have any duck?"
Butcher:  "Yes, they're over here, I'll show you."  Monkey follows her.
Monkey:  "You have ducks?  Where are they?"
Butcher:  "Uuuhhhh.... Well they're not really ducks.... They're uuuhhh.... I think you're mommy was calling you."  (I really had said his name, but I don't think either of them heard since I knew this could only go wrong.)
Monkey:  "Are the ducks in there?"  Pointing right at the ducks in refrigerator.
Me:  "Uuuuhhhh...."
Butcher:  Choosing to leave me on my own, "I'll let you choose which one you'd like."
I finally decide to tell him that those are the ducks.  He seems completely unfazed by this and continues his interrogation.
Me: "Yes, those are the ducks."
Monkey:  "Oh, where's the head?"
Me:  please let this end... "I'm not sure.  It's not there."
Monkey:  "Oh, what about the feet.  Where are the feet?"
Me: "I don't know Monkey, let's keep going."
Monkey:  "Well how can it walk around?"
Apparently not having a head to see wasn't as concerning as the lack of feet.
Me: "It can't, it's dead, it's not going to walk around.  Ever.  Let's keep going."
We continue to walk to the counter and as I'm looking at the different salads they have, he starts up again.
Monkey: "Who killed it?"
Me:  Really?  Really.  "I don't know, probably the farmer or the butcher."  As soon as I said the last part, I realized I made a mistake.
Monkey: To the butcher, "Did you kill the duck?"
Butcher:  "Um.  What?"
Monkey:  "Where did you kill it?"
Butcher:  "I think it was the farmer."

I quickly say that the butcher doesn't know and let's go!  I pay for the duck (grab a free sample), apologize and leave.  The poor butcher, she earned her pay for the day!

I'm planning on making roast sherry duck with it.  I need to buy some sherry but couldn't handle another stop with the unknown questions.


Friday, September 7, 2012

Monkey's pet

So every child has a dream of getting some new pet.  I know Sunshine has dreams of getting horses, cats, puppies, unicorns (I've tried to tell her that it really isn't going to happen).  But some children have different dreams.

Children like Monkey.

Monkey is... well he's Monkey.  There's no other way for me to describe him except that he is his own person.  Sure I can say the same about Sunshine.  But Monkey?  No, Monkey really is his own little person.  He marches to a different drum and doesn't have a care in the world.  He will go about his business oblivious to others and what they may say.

This may be why he doesn't want a horse, cat, puppy, (unicorn).  So what does Monkey want?  Monkey wants a rooster.  A what?!  A rooster, yes a rooster.  Why I ask? and what will he do with it?  (I'm thinking fry it up but I figure he's not thinking along those lines.)  Monkey says he wants a rooster so it will cock a boodle doo and he'll get food from PetSmart and pet it and take care of it.  He will feed it rooster food everyday and give it water.  He will keep it in the house and he will love it forever and ever and ever.

Well it's not a unicorn, but it might as well be!  I can just imagine what our neighbors would say when our roosters started crowing at dawn.  It probably wouldn't be pleasant.